Here’s my biggest ad newest revelation: I don’t really want to have children. I always thought people were crazy for thinking that they didn’t want to have kids someday because I always just assumed that it was a natural and normal thing to want. But now I’m realizing how absolutely insane that fallacy truly is.

It’s not that I don’t like kids. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. I love everything about young children and little people. But I have been thinking a lot about my future and what I want out of life, and it seems to me that being pregnant for 9+ months (depending on how many children enter the picture) plus labor plus food costs plus diaper changing plus trying to be a good mother would really detract from my goals. AKA my career.

Not saying that I want to put a job in front of family, but do I really want to put my life on hold while I take care of someone that can’t even talk? 

It seems to me that I would rather eliminate all the stress of having children, and just live in peace and success with my significant other/future husband. Maybe throw a couple of dogs into the mix and we got ourselves a family.

I’m also kind of petrified of being like my mother. She did a wonderful job raising myself and my sister, but I don’t want for my children to be my life. I want MY life to be my life. But that’s besides the point.

Here’s another really selfish reason to not want kids: I don’t want to have a reason to have to stay with my husband. Ideally, I’d love to marry someone who will make me happy forever, someone I can stay with without wanting a divorce at any time. But nothing is perfect, nor do I expect it to be. That being said, I wouldn’t want to put my children through a divorce. I am too selfless to want to put my own kin through that kind of trauma. And I don’t want to have to stay with my husband if I ever find myself to be unhappy. That just doesn’t seem right.

Nothing is set in stone, of course. I just think it’s strange that after all of these years about thinking how much I wanted to be a mother someday and how well I was going to take care of my children, that I am now having an extreme change of heart. I guess that’s kind of my life though, so I shouldn’t really be surprised.

On a side note, why is everyone moving in together and getting married and having kids? Aren’t we like…kinda young for that? No? Maybe it’s just me.